The Trap of Fear

I have been a Christian for about 8.5 years and I would like to say that I’ve been able to trust in my God and Savior with my whole heart.  The problem is that is simply not the case.  While I have learned and grown through the years I still have a lot of distrust.  Right now, my family is barely scraping by financially. I am working multiple part time jobs trying to pay the bills after leaving a well paying job because I was being asked to do things I did not agree with morally or ethically and despite having good references and a pretty solid resume I cannot find anything full time.

It has been very difficult and taxing on all of us.

While I do not regret the decision to leave my last position, I have often wondered why God has allowed us to reach this point month after month.  I have been asking “Why?” for too long. Today I spoke to a manager at a previous employer, at which I had exceled before accepting a new job offer, and it doesn’t look like that is going to work out either.  I began feeling overwhelmed and afraid.  With each passing day the bills keep coming in.  Some can be paid on time and some cannot.  As I sit in this chair paralyzed by the situation I remember what God always tells His children,

Don’t be afraid. I am with you wherever you go, even to the ends of the earth. I will not leave you or forsake you.

I write this not as a petition for sympathy, which stems from pride, but as an encouragement to myself along with anyone else struggling with fear. Fear is a tool of the enemy; he uses it to manipulate and control us into forgetting and doubting our Father. May this be a blessing to someone somewhere for the honor and glory of our Father and Most High Priest, Jesus.

Maranatha, selah.

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