So it’s been about a month and a half since my last post. I’ve been busy, but that’s not the reason. I’ve been tired, but that’s not it either. In fact I wasn’t really sure what the problem or cause of my lack of productivity has been until earlier tonight when I was putting a fork into the dishwasher and I heard the still, small voice of my Father.
You’re stressing out. Just relax; I’ve got this under control.
As simple a statement as that sounds it was profoundly encouraging and reveling. I’ve always had a hard time dealing with stress and have often found myself in a deep funk with a bad attitude whenever I’ve started leaning more on my own skill and understanding than on the promises of God’s love, grace, and provision. In my mind this revelation brought to light another struggle of mine.
While I know my reformed theology (God is sovereign; we are known, loved, and predestined from before the foundations of the
earth; through Jesus alone we are justified, sanctified through a transformative faith that is played out by submission to His will; etc) I sometimes have a hard time with the practical side of it. When a problem arises I don’t simply acknowledge that I have a responsibility to pray and do my best to resolve it. Instead I do what it seems many people do; I freak out and try to fix it, then when it doesn’t work out because I’m freaking out, I proceed to freak out even more. You see it’s a circle… and it’s vicious.
This is an area I could use prayer in, so if you think about it please do so. God is good and faithful and I need Him to help me remember that I don’t have to carry all of the burden; I can lean on Him. Feel free to comment below and I’ll be sure to pray for you too.